I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize