i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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