Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
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I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
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And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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