So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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