Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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