Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
