you would pick up someone in the library
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Randomize
