I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
