im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
