i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
