These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
