She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
