How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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