I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
