well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
