I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
bring money and cleavage
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
