def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
