Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
