Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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