what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just gargled with NyQuil
how drunk are you?
Several
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
