My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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