Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Buhtt sex?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
