mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
