Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
