Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
