We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
