why didn't you poke me back
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
he shaved USA in his pubs
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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