Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
