oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff