Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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