Dude i fell asleep inside of her
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.