I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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