so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
