Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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