You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
