SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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