I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
