i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
