I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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