I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize