yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
