Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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