just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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