Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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