we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
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Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
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is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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