i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
