I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
