We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
