I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
