Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
