And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize