Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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