I just saw a hot homeless man
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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