Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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