I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
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i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
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well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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