I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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