I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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