Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
