Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
