the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
