She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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