Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
