Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
