I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize